Key features

• •Drew Barrymore tells you about her greatest wish — "If I die before my cat, I want a few of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him.”
• •Dave Barry tells you what your cat really thinks about you — "They’re always watching you with that smartass cat expression and thinking, 'God, what a cementhead.’”
• •Ellen DeGeneres asks: “Have you ever had a cat in heat? They just change on you. Once she was my kitten, my adorable little pet. Then, she’s a hooker.”
• •The Onion describes “The Common Benefits of Cat Ownership” — "Cats are adept at defending your home from mouse-sized robbers.”
• •Comedian Paula Poundstone tells you that "The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.”
• •An ordinary citizen tweets about her deteriorating relationship with her cat: “My cat and I pass each other in the hall without even making eye contact. I think we both know we’re just living a lie now.”
• •Writer Bud Herron offers practical tips on how to bath your cat — like, "Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body.”